In Second Temple times, perhaps as a survival of pre-Israelite practice, there was a sort of “Sadie Hawkins Day,” in which young men and women would choose their mates. The Mishnah emphasizes that marriage symbolizes the union of God and Israel while reminding young people of the correct criteria for choosing a spouse and building a family.

Rabban Simeon ben Gamliel said: “There were no better days for Israel than the Fifteenth of Av and the Day of Atonement, for on those days the young women of Jerusalem used to go out in borrowed white garments, so as not to embarrass whoever did not have any. All the garments required immersion.¹³⁸ And the young women would go out and dance in the vineyards. What would they say? ‘Young man, lift up your eyes and see, what do you choose for yourself? Do not set your eyes toward beauty, but set your eyes toward family.’ ‘Grace is deceptive, beauty is vanity’” (Prov. 31:30). And it says, “Praise her for the fruit of her hand, and let her works praise her at the gates” (Prov. 31:31). And thus it says, “Daughters of Zion, go forth and see King Solomon,¹³⁹ wearing the crown that his mother gave him on his wedding day, on the day of the rejoicing of his heart” (Song 3:11). “On the day of his wedding,” this refers to the Giving of the Torah. “The day of the rejoicing of his heart,” this refers to the building of the Temple, may it be rebuilt speedily in our days, Amen.

137. Trans. S. Berrin.

138. In order not to single out those who were ritually impure and would have to immerse their garments, all the women would have to immerse their garments. This was in keeping with the general character of the occasion which sought to ensure equality for those who participated.

139. Taken here symbolically to represent God.